im no longer sick. this is good. but im not positive i know whats going on with everyone currently. i wish for things to somehow simplify themselves, but i dont think thats possible. well not right now.

i reread alot of stuff earlier from christmas time. and boy do i miss how my life played out back then or what? i had a nice boy(at the time) and some good friends and a fun life. and it was great. and i did appreciate it at the time. but lately, it feels like i ran out of things to rejoice myself with. lost a couple people at the same time. said fuck it to that cause sadly it honestly wasnt even worth it. and now im feelin kinda lost. i know what i want, i just dont know how to go about it. and i do occupy myself all the time so i never have any time to feel sad. or anything at all.

ya know, if you wanted to know anything about me its that im a very sensitive girl. and when someone, doesnt matter who you are or how much or little you may mean to me, if you say something hurtful to me i will take it very personaly. and its gunna stay with me for quite some time. it sucks its no fun. but thats why im never mean to anybody, and i help every person i can with all of their troubles. and make every one smile. i tell silly jokes & just act like miss eekra always should’ve. merh i wish something would just hit me in the face & be like hi time to wake up. jesus i remember when i had that dirtbike accident it was realy scary, but hey i came out of it with battle wounds & a story to tell.  

maybe ill find another nice boy. or maybe i wont. but either way, i dont know what to do with myself. i started crying cause i felt unpretty. i started crying because i felt unimportant and underappreciated and inferior and it breaks my heart that other people i hold dear feel this way.

i have no respect for inconsiderate liars.

that girl who stole my cat, talked to her, and i was like alright listen bitch… didnt actuary say that but i did mind fuck her and im not allowed to say how but it ended with frisco belonging back to me  

this was incredibly random. im sore from yesternight. now i think ill just go to sleep & dream of things so sweet it’ll be a shame when i wake up.

ps i miss feeling both happy & complete at the same time, like it was natural, comfortable, and safe. i was one lucky young lady.